Questions for which I have no answer

Since I have nothing better to do and not getting sleep either, I will write this. So I face this question often, particularly when I travel to Helsinki for office parties. Everytime I go to Helsinki, I find new faces and few old people having gone back to India. Since I work alone in a different (and much smaller) city, I usually have to introduce myself. The first question typically would be, “Who else is there with you?” I would say, "No one else, I am alone". Next question, “Any Indian in the city”; I say ‘No’. Then questions will come as any Indian restaurant, Indian grocery store, yadda, yadda. All these questions, I reply as “No” with straight face and will get a mixture of shock, pity, surprise, etc from the questioner. I really don’t understand this!! What and where is anything wrong? I know they don’t mean any offence just sympathy may be.

Can’t one live alone in a totally alien place? Why do people always have to eat the same food as they are eating in their own country?(Even now, I mostly eat more or less Indian kind of food.) I don’t know how long I am going to be in Finland, may be couple more months, but this would remain as the unforgetful part of my life. Finland happened to me just when I just wanted to get away from India, from everything and everyone I knew. In two years, I have changed so much that I never think about it or I would be overwhelmed. Sure, one day I have to go back to India and I would find it difficult for some time. Last year when I went to my parent’s place, my own home was feeling crowded to me and I could not sleep for two days due to noise of everything around me. This could happen to me again, but I would take only that much to adjust. All these things are transitory, I would get used to life of India again.

The greatest benefit has been the permanent changes in me. I have spent days without speaking a single word and this has made me fiercely independent. I have not had many things in life, which I had taken for granted and this has made me not to miss anything. I had come to Finland initially for 6 months and it is now going to be 2 years and these two years has made me totally different person. I remember last year, I wanted to go Italy, so I took my backpack and boarded the flight. Many people then had asked me, how I could go on such a trip alone. I have no answers other than I never thought people don’t go alone on trips. Yeah, not everyone would understand this and it does not bother me wee bit.


May be I will delete this post when I realize what all I have written.