I will miss 'me'

I was walking down the street, the dark evening, the cool autumn breeze; the colorful foliage all seemed to have a melancholic hue. I never realized what the last two years was for me, until now. I now understand my relationship with Finland. The time I was here, I always thought I have grown up for feelings, and emotions; while precisely at those moments I was doing the opposite.

Somehow, for the past one week, every day I find myself in a different part of the city. The market square brought to me memories of the day when the city had assembled to see the local team win the ice hockey championship. Soon winter will come, snow will fall, market square will get covered with snow, and the huge and brightly decorated Christmas tree would stand still, opposite the cathedral. Only, I won’t be here.

Today I emptied my desk, segregated the papers to throw and to keep, and came across my address slips. I knew they will be valid no more, and I quietly put them with the papers I had to throw. I saw my two years, lying in that box, ready to be disposed.

I had ceased to feel that I was in a foreign country, the people on the streets would seem to be my own, the clatter of Finnish seemed my language to the subconscious, the silence on the street seemed natural and weather regular. I feel the best part of my life was these two years. I would trade anything I could, only to not leave Finland, Alas ! the world does not go with emotions and we can't take decisions from our heart.

No more everyday walk to the office, no more waving to the pizza guy on the way and the mutual silent 'hi' with the lady who goes to her shop the same time, for the last two years.

I won’t come to office after Friday, won’t drink the coffee from the office pantry, won’t try to read the Finnish newspaper through the pictures and won’t see the park from my window, won’t get to talk to my colleagues aund won’t attend the office parties.

I will no more have colleagues as the closest person in this country. No more phone calls to colleague to help me with translations, while I am standing in the aisle of supermarket. No more cursing the supermarket to make me hurry up before 6pm every saturday.

After two days, I will call the taxi service number, will take my bags outside the door of apartment. I will push the door as I have been doing for the last two years, only this time, I won’t keep the key in my pocket but gently put in the mail box slot. I will climb down the stairs and will turn around to see my ‘home’ for the last time in life and wheels will roll. After that I will present my passport, get my boarding pass and the plane will snatch me far from Finland. My silent desire will be drowned in the power surge of those two jet engines.

I will reach India, will be checked for passport and not visa, and yet I will feel like I am coming to a foreign country. I will once again be alone in a city in what was my own country two years ago.

I will never forget these two years of my life, and I am going with a plan that if I am not able to live away from Finland, I would come back. I know this is not going to happen, life does not go by my desires, but this is my silverlining. I will treasure every moment in Finland, and my colleagues will always remain my best friends.

I have lost a part of 'me' in Finland.

Good bye Finland, I will miss ‘me’.

Any blame for this sappy & incoherent post should lie with 'Twilight Fairy' who made me write this post.

Coup d'état - How you do it ?

There are few things about which we seem know a lot, there are reports about them in media, books to read and lot of history, still find it hard to imagine it. One such thing for me is military 'Coup d'état'. The recent one in Thailand triggering the thought process again.

I can’t understand how can one government be overthrown by tanks rolling on the street or buildings under siege? What exactly is a government ? Is it some ‘seat’, and whoever occupies the seat is the government. The government, I know, consists of several constituents, and they make the legislative and executive. So how come this system changes by tanks on the street, or soldiers in combat fatigue? How does evrerything become sub-servient to one person in uniform ?

I guess, my deficiency in understanding this lies with my upbringing. Having being brought in India, which incidentally is surrounded by neighbours having military rule umpteen number of times, makes me difficult to understand the whole process. When I think of government, the picture does not come of parliament buliding or the streets of New Delhi. However preposterous might be the thought, but I can imagine democracy in India, even with tanks rolling on streets of New Delhi. Oh, it got wiped off, even the mere thought does not stay for long. I guess this is Indian democracy ingrained in me. I would really find it difficult to ever stay some country where there is authoratarian rule or my right to question/criticise is limited.

Sure democracy does not always give you the government you desire, but even then it does give you the right to criticise. It does tells that it not ‘me’ (a single person) who can decide who is going to rule the country. The thought alone is assuring.

Whenever I get the news of any military coup anywhere, I don’t understand it, but it also brings me a smug on my face – the glow of Indian democracy.

Sweden's election result - chink in the Scandinavian model ?

The results of Sweden's general election, though revolutionary wasn't much of surprise. In the days leading to election, it was increasingly getting clear that incumbent Social Democrats party will be ousted from government. The party, led by Prime Minister Goran Persson has been in power continuously for past 12 years. It was overthrown yesterday, by the centre-right alliance under the leadership of Fredrik Reinfeldt, who is set to become the new prime minister.

On paper, it is difficult to find out why the government of Prime Minister Goran Persson failed to win? The GDP growth of Sweden is around 5.6%, the highest in Europe, and Sweden is the shining jewel of the Scandinavian model. This Scandinavian model, which is the best example of a welfare state was under attack(milder than 2002) by the opposition party. So are we going to see the collapse of Scandinavian model ?

For the last few years, mainland Europe has always been looking at their northern counterparts with admiration for their high fuelled economy, alongside the best social security that any country could offer. Infact last year, when there was spat between England and France, over the Anglo-Saxon and Franco-German model, this North European model or Scandinavian model, was touted to be the best model to follow. This amount of extensive social security comes at a price; people in this region pay the highest amount of tax. Also the government holds the monopoly in few sectors, making it possible for them to generate revenue to meet the cost of social benefits. Other countries of Europe, like France and Germany, they also have fair amount of social security benefits for its citizens, but they are now getting over burdened with it. The industries in these countries are threatened by those from free market economies of the global world. Among all this, the Scandinavian model was the one every one looked upon for social security as well as prosperity. In fact in Sweden, it was encouraging enough for people to even remain unemployed and get benefits than to be in a regular job.

So the election result of Sweden, which brought to power a party which never approved the high social security coverage, may reduce the charm of Scandinavian model. The PM to be, Mr Fredrik Reinfeldt has announced reduction in social security benefits, lower tax rates and also to end government control of economy in certain ways. Though Mr Reinfeldt is not expected to take any drastic and dramatic change in the model, the trend he starts will be of interest to many other countries. May be, he has just exposed the chink in the Scandinavian model.

It's all in our mind

Ever been in such condition, when you think about something, and next instant you get the totally opposite feelings. Like something happens and you are happy, the next moment it proves to be the worse thing to happen to you. I guess we all have such moments. Why it happens? May be we assume things rather too quickly or, be happy or sad a bit too early.

In retrospect, this all sounds kind of assuming. Something happens and we mould it or assume it, according to our wish. It turns out to be something different, yet our human nature does not allow accepting it that easily. We try to do something, tweak something here and there, so that the outcome is what we want. Are we successful? No, but the whole affair becomes messy and things get more complex. I guess that’s the time to stop influencing things and let them take their own course. That’s the time to accept the power of destiny and let it rule.

According to me, the best way to keep away from such quagmires is to stop putting feelings. It’s all in our mind and our craving for things to happen in the way we want. Can we not stop doing it? Nothing new, Buddhism and others said it ages ago. The only risk involved is becoming cynic and mechanical in life. May be we should wait before being happy/sad about something or before assuming things are working/not working the way we want.

Sometimes it is also best to do nothing and allow things to take their own course. I guess, I am not making much sense, but it's my time to relax.

Making the move

After cozy two years, it is time to make the move. As I quietly complete my two years in Finland, I also have to start packing. It is not easy to assemble your two years in two bags, and say 'adieu'. But I have got used to it, and I sort of waited for this day to come. When I came here, I had given myself six months to stay here, which became two years.

There are so many formalities to do before I move, things related to apartment, utilities and few others. May be since I don’t feel like going from here, I am slow to do these things. I still have not booked my tickets, so I don’t know the exact date I will move, or the exact place I will go.

I had the option to live in Finland forever, but I was not sure, I would like to be away from India in permanent terms. I had made few other plans, but none of them materialized. As the quote from Napoleon goes - which is on the top of my blog – I can only make calculations, fate does the rest. The only thing I know for now is that whenever I am gone from here, I am taking a month long vacation.

I was reading my archive, the post, which I did on my first year in Finland; I found it refreshing and satisfying that I have experienced more things in my second year than the first. It is too obvious for me to even think of this - the two years, I have lived here has been the best and most satisfying period of my life in every sense.

It would be false if I say, I won’t be sad while leaving this place. But it was only these two years, which reinforced in me that I can live and survive in any alien place, alien culture or alien climate or among alien people. I won’t be missing all this, because most probably, I would not get to come here again in life. The people I have known here, the friends I made will continue forever. I would always remember Finland.

The only thing certain in life is ‘letting go’.

Insensitivity at its best

You can trust India to come up with bizarre news too often. The very recent one, which found place in media across the world, was the name of a café in Mumbai. A bright and talented entrepreneur, who is said to be 23 years old, named it as Hitler’s Cross. True to his wishes, his café got instant publicity. Everyone knows that for sake of publicity, any publicity is good publicity and cheap ones are most effective.

Things turned sour for him when the local Jewish community, Israeli and German government raised objection to the name and the Swastika (different from Hindu Swastika). The last news is that the entrepreneur agreed to change the name and the news name is ‘The Cross Café’. Even after everything is settled, there is a lingering question in my mind. What would it take for someone to name a place to dine and socialise on the name of that German dictator, one of the most hated figures of human civilizations? Who would try to glorify Hitler?

This is not a question of Jewish appeasement. As a matter of fact, did Hitler kill only Jews? Hitler killed 11 million people, out of which 6 million were Jews and 5 million others. Even if it was only 6 million Jews, will it be considered atrocity against Jewish population or humanity? Hitler was against mankind, humanity, societal civilization and not only against Jews. How can someone be so insensitive to disregard the slaughter of 11 million people in the cruelest way?

India is a plural society and naming anything after Hitler is perfectly legal. But does this issue fall only under legal ambit or has far broader scope? Does that ‘entrepreneur’ ever read a single book of history? There are justifications like, “there are many other cruel group, sections or governments than Hitler”. True, but does that absolve or lessen the crime of Hitler in anyway?

Imagine people living their life in concentration camps, and later burning in incendiary towers, the ashes falling from the sky much like snow fall? How good the feeling is for a person to name his café after Hitler? Perhaps if he ever gets time from watching cheap Bollywood movies, should see “Schindler’s List”. If he also likes reading then he should read ‘Fateless’ by Nobel prize winner, Hungarian Jew, Imre Kertész who has penned his life in the Nazi concentration camps. Agreeing to rename the café does not change anything. It betrays the mentality of a sick mind.

Is it a mere co-incidence that the café is located in Mumbai, a city lauded for ‘spirit’, which is nothing but euphemism for apathy?